Logically anything we feel is a just a chemical reaction in our brain. How can signals in our brain create meaning? That I do not know. My intuition is that attraction is at first physical, and later if the personality comes a long that is just an added bonus. There has to be a reason people have affairs, and often divorce. I am not utterly convinced that marriage is a natural state for human beings. Even though we like to impose such moral codes on society we often see that with temptation that for most it means nothing. We romanticize the ideal of love, and perhaps we twisted it so much we don’t even know how to define it. Perhaps romantic love does exist, but perhaps it isn’t suppose to last forever and only for a small periods of time. Or are we confusing passion and lust with love? Yet even the most “stable” relationships after decades of stability have ended abruptly. Have we sent generations of young people chasing something that only exists in our minds? We have shed too many tears for something that is merely an idea. Humans can grow to love anything. I agree there is a difference between compassionate love, and the love of passion. If you have experience with love it is often said that that there are no words to describe it, and you are lost in the moment, but once it is taken away it is like a knife striking the heart.
Love and pain are two sides of the same coin. One doesn’t exist without the other. Another perspective is to think of the idea of “love” as a practical method of ensuring that the species reproduces. We love our partner, our world, our offspring, and we wish to protect it. If we did not have such feelings our species would have died away a long time ago. For all the torture we want to believe in this emotion, and feel it again it tears us apart, but it is a drug we keep coming back to. When I was younger and much more naive about the world it was an idea I use to believe in. I thought that you could bond with someone in such a deep way, but as a grew older I began to see that truth. It was just all a lie as such ideals are so often easily shattered. So the question remains is “love” just a reproductive tool we assign meaning to or is it something that we can truly say exists outside the laws of nature. I have to go with the former. Since at least in my experience humans are good at assigning meaning when there is none. A humans nightmare is an existence without meaning. Anything we feel, believe, and fear we assign a meaning a feeling. We hide behind our symbols, history, literature, mathematics, and logic. We are as clueless as we were before. Authors, and musicians time and time again have suffered and thought about the same themes repeatedly. The cycle is persistent, and it is never ending. The world will end as it began. How many times have we lived the same existence made the same mistakes experienced the same fears and desires. How many times have we cried to sleep searching asking the ultimate question “why”?
Life is pain that is a truth that any human no matter where they were born or when will say it an inescapable truth. My opinion is that the challenge is how we learn to live with pain. Learn to live with no hope no salvation to live in a world that the only thing that is guaranteed is death. Either 50 years from now or tomorrow night. So go experience love, and pain and suck it all in, but don’t be blind to something that exists beyond your mind. There is no scientific law, or magic rules. There is only the experience of living without fear, be angry, cry, yell, laugh, and love. Even all those great people who you read in the history books will become meaningless. Something will replace everything we knew someday. Money, power, and glory are all traps. Hold onto your principles firmly understand why you choose to believe in what you believe in. Cherish them, love them, and protect them. Most importantly use them to guide you in life, and forge your own path. Remember love does exist but only in our minds.